Every Which Way but Dead by Kim Harrison -7/14/08 (audio)

I read two of this series and decided not to read any more but then saw this at the library and thought, “Why not?”  I’m glad I did.  It wasn’t that I didn’t like the series, it was that I just didn’t care that much about the characters. Harrison just needed to get her stride, so I will be going back and reading the books between the last I read and this.

 

The stories are complicated and there are generally more than one plotline going on at once.  I will very likely leave stuff out, but here goes.

 

Rachel saves Cere, Algoliarept the Demon’s familiar, from dying and someone Cere saves Rachel from having to go to the Everafter with Al (as they call the demon.)  Rachel’s boyfriend, Nick, leaves her since she accidentally made him her familiar and he doesn’t like it.  Rachel’s roommate, Ivy, has family issues but I can’t remember what they are.  It took me a long time to listen to this whole book!  At one point, Rachel is on a ship with Kiston, on a date of sorts (Kiston is Ivy’s friend and fellow living vampire) when they are separated and Rachel meets an unnamed guy who turns out to be a Bad Guy.  Rachel nearly gets blown up, she winds up working for Trent Kalamac (I may well be spelling these names wrong as I do not have the book to reference) and someone sort of winds up liking him.  She doesn’t tell Trent that Cere is an elf and could be of help with his research into how to reverse a curse on elves that was made 2,000 years ago.  Cere is 1,000 years old.   Jenks gets mad at Rachel and leaves, refusing to talk to her for the rest of the book.  David, a were, asks Rachel to be in his pack.  Not marry him, just be his Alpha Bitch and get him off the hook for having a real pack.  Rachel winds up dating Kiston.  At the end, Rachel winds up owing Al one favor still, though she got rid of one of his demon marks, but also owes a favor to another demon, a gender nonspecific demon whose name I can’t remember but of whom Cere is afraid.

The Fundraising Houseparty by Morrie Warshawski 07/14/08

I read this in one sitting – probably not even an hour.  It’s a basic overview of the houseparty concept, which was semi-helpful.  Gave some resources for me to check out. There were things I did not agree with, but no fundraiser does things exactly the same as another.  I was mostly interested to see that there wasn’t something I was forgetting and it seems that there wasn’t, so that’s good.

Cash in the City by Juliette Farley 07/13/08

I can’t remember why this was on my To Read list.  It’s a very basic primer on how to manage money and all that.  I think I could have written a more practical approach, but then lots of people think they can write books and can’t  It’s good if you’re a young woman, just starting out, with no real idea of how to manage money.  Of course, if you’re like most young women, you’re going to ignore the advice anyway.

Color Schemes Made Easy - Editors of Better Homes & Gardens 07/07/08

This was a quick and easy read, definitely for the novice decorator.  It was $3.99 in the bargain shelves at Barnes &  Nobles, though, so it was okay.

Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella 07/08/08

I picked up Remember Me? because a member of an online group I’m in suggested it.  That and I like Sophie Kinsella.  While her books aren’t deep, they are fun.  I’ve read all of the Shopaholic books (and, really, who hasn’t known a Becky Bloomwood?) but I loved Domestic Goddess. 

The premise is simple: Lexi Smart has a car accident and wakes up in a hospital thinking it’s three years earlier. She has a husband she doesn’t know and an entire life she doesn’t recognize.  Nothing in her current life is how she would expect it because it’s very out of character.  On the surface, it seems perfect: she’s slimmer, gotten her teeth and hair “fixed”, she has a millionaire husband, a beautiful loft and a great job.  As she begins to piece together her life, she realizes that things aren’t as perfect as they seem.

The characters are interesting, the story is fun and lightly suspenseful.  It’s not an “on the edge of your seat” story but the reader does want to find out how the hell Lexi became The Cobra.  There is no surprise ending, but that’s okay.  Kinsella’s niche is stories that entertain and make us care for the characters. T his one is perfect in that regard.

Fearless Fourteen by Janet Evanovich 07/05/08

The early Stephanie Plum books were hilarious, the more recent ones not so much.  This one made me laugh right out loud.  Grandma Mazur all in black teenage gear (with a teenager) along with all her 80+ year old friends playing role playing games?  And saying things like “I got ganked?  I got all my bitches here and i got ganked?”  Really, really funny.

Gorgeously Green by Sophie Uliano

Last night, I went to Target.  I was looking for a platform bed that they had on the internet and I was hopeful I could get it locally.  I could not but then I wandered around looking at other things.  I went to my usual Target Aisles: bedding, cosmetics, skin care, and books.  I bought a makeup bag to corral my lipgloss, blotting papers and brush in my work totebag and Gorgeously Green.

 

I almost didn’t buy it because I saw it in one of those health food store advertorial magazines and I generally think those are full of nonsense.

 

Let me tell you:  half the book is highlighted with Things I Must Remember.  I’m sure it will take me a while to incorporate them all – or even half of them – in to my daily life but I will.  There were also a lot of websites where you can buy things and we all know how much I love an internet shopping “trip.”

 

The thing about Uliano is that she isn’t preachy and she isn’t “all or nothing.”   For example, while I agree that using plastic or glass dishes is better than Styrofoam, I am not taking my Tupperware to D & W and asking them to put my sandwich in that.  Or my pasta salad or whatever.  Maybe someday I will but not now.  I’m also not going to stop flying to cool places for vacations and I’m not quite ready to give up my plan to go on a cruise with my sister.  Uliano understands that we aren’t all going to Go Granola.  Of course, now I also have a new vacation destination, entirely thanks to Uliano:  an Eco-Spa!

 

There were other things that thrilled me that I had no idea existed.  For example, Woman’s Wonder Bar, which are chocolate candy bars that are supposed to help with PMS and menopause. I am so going to that website and buying some.   Eco-friendly poop bags since I must clean up the presents Peggy Sue leaves for the world.  There are free ringtones you can download that sound like nature: the mating call of a whale, an owl hooting, various birds.  All kinds of things.  Sadly, I have to go to the Sprint store to figure out how to actually download them since I couldn’t get a Sprint customer service operator whose first language was English but that’s beside the point.  I can’t wait!  There is a nonprofit who will take your partially used antibiotics, antifungals, etc and distribute them to developing countries.  That’s pretty cool.

 

I can’t tell you how many websites are highlighted so I can buy more eco-friendly clothes, shoes, bedding, etc.  I am going to check out a wool bed and wool pillows as well as bamboo sheets.  Who knows?  I may really love them. I have always been one who prefers fewer things that I love than lots of only mediocre things, so that they are more expensive won’t seem so bad in the long run.

 

There are 8 chapters, each covering a different area of life.  The chapters are:

1. Becoming Aware (just what it says.)
2. Green Goddess (all about beauty.)
3. Your Green Temple (all about a healthy body. Yoga and weight training routines are included)
4. Soulful Shopping (self-explanatory, I think!)
5. Your Palace (about your home and garden.)
6. Every Last Bite (not surprisingly, all about food.)
7. Out and About Having Fun (transportation, entertainment and travel.)
8. Go Supergreen (activism and maintenance.)

 

I bet you’ll find some ways that you can live a more eco-friendly life without driving yourself nuts or becoming one of the Granola Brigade.  (Though there *is* a recipe for granola that looks yummy!)  You’ll likely find some things you never considered and each small change adds up to a big difference.

Eccentric Glamour by Simon Doonan 07/03/08

I don’t know if you’ll take the advice in this book, but you should read it.  How can you not read a book buy a gay British guy who both impersonates Queen Elizabeth and quotes Flava Flav?

 

Okay, some of the advice you shouldn’t take.  Ignore the permission to wear “a gold leotard with your lesbian aunt Sylvia’s mauve nylon fanny pack.”  Unless you live in NYC, people will talk about you and not in a good way.  At least they will if you live in Southwest Michigan.

 

Still, Doonan is hilarious.  I laughed out loud several times and that’s not normally true of fashion books.  Okay, not true of any books, but most fashion books take themselves so seriously.

 

Lest we be overwhelmed with possibility, Doonan assures us that there are only 3 basic types of glamorous eccentric: the Gypsy, the Socialite and the Existentialist.  It’s true that as I think of women I know who tend to be “eccentric”, they do generally fit the stereotype of one of those three.

 

Interspersed with stories and interviews with Glamorous Eccentrics is bits of advice, some of which I might actually take.  For example: I collect handbags, totebags, etc as I’m always in search of the perfect bag.  Doonan thinks that a woman – at least a Glamour Eccentric, one of which I think I am not, should only have one great bag that she takes everywhere.  He encourages a person to buy the Hermes Birkin bag they are coveting. That is advice I might take!  Of course, chances are good I’ll buy a knock off first and see if I really like that style, etc before I save up TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to buy one of the damned things.  Still, I covet that bag.

 

Doonan is kind to his reader.  He reminds the reader that you are a work in progress and to be patient with oneself.

 

These are some of the things that made me laugh:  (they are all direct quotes from the book.)

 

• The “boobs ‘n bleach ‘n Botox” makeover is standard for any woman seeking to reinvent herself.  This look is part of the I-don’t-want-to-look-like-a-grown-up-anymore-but-I-do-want-to-look-like-my-daughter-who-just-happens-to-dress-like-a-hoochie-dancer.”
• “Call me crazy, but I believe that there just might be more to being a woman than prancing around dressed like a Stepford blow-up doll.”  Dooan adores vulgarity and it isn’t the “ho-style” “against which he inveighs.” It’s the conformity.
• When a little guy like me wears a white suit, it’s only a matter of time before somebody starts shouting, “Ze plane! Ze plane!”
• You, more than anyone, are in dire need of a trained homosexual to apply your makeup.
• A mink says, “I am a tough cookie.  Though  I may not have the wherewithal to actually kill you, please expect to be nipped on a regular basis.”
• I am pro-pot dealer: the arrival of a mysterious and attractive criminal adds a memorable frisson of excitement to any occasion.

 

Not directly quoted, but still funny, his idea of working on your relationship is to come up with games so that you get the hostility you feel towards your partner out before they become big hostility.  He recommends 3: Soothing or Annoying?, Concerto and Talking Through the Hamster.  Soothing or Annoying? involves on person doing something clearly annoying to the other while saying “Soothing or annoying?”  The other partner tries to pretend it’s soothing to have, say, a dessert spoon tapped on your head, for as long as they can.  Then the other partner gets to choose their own form of torture.  In Concerto, play some form of music and use your partner’s face as instruments: ie tweak noses, etc.  In Talking Through the Hamster, no hamster actually need be involved, just a pet of some sort.  For example, if your partner is gaining weight and you want to tell them so without saying it yourself, the next time they reach into the freezer for an ice cream sandwich, your “pet” will say something like “Paging Richard Simmons!” at which point you can step in and “castigate the impudent beast” by saying something like “who knew Chihuahuas had such a mouth on them!” then “caution the pet that any further outbursts will result in a withholding of tomorrow’s treats.”

 

That last part particularly cracked me up as a) I have a Chihuahua and b) she does have a mouth on her.  Or as my sister would say after she has gotten the dog in trouble, “Hey.  I can’t help it if your dog’s a wiseass.” In my family, we LOVE to talk for the dog!  Peggy Sue has her own little sayings.  Such as “Guilty!” which was shamelessly stolen from Janelle in Steel Magnolias.  Peggy Sue is also fond of calling and leaving me messages on my voicemail whenever she is in the care of her Tia Madrigada. Peggy Sue loves to call and recount her mistreatment at the hands of her Clearly Evil Tia.  (“Tia” for those of you who don’t speak Spanish means “aunt” and being a Chihuahua, clearly Peggy’s first language is Spanish.  Her real name is “Margarita Susana” but that’s too hard for Americans to say, thus Peggy Sue.)

 

I digress.  There are other bits of true wisdom that would be helpful to all of us, regardless of whether we are glamorous or eccentric.  Sadly, I suspect I’m neither.   For example,  “alluring” is not cheap & tawdry.  To paraphrase Doonan, it’s timeless, it’s beautiful and sensual.   Alluring is “irresistible charm, which ever fails to mesmerize the viewer, regardless of gender.”

 

A quote from Iman that I love:

 

Simon Doonan asks:  Do  men think you’re hot?

Iman responds: I know they do – especially the ones with good taste!

 

I can’t decide if this is a “fashion book” or a “self-help book” but it’s definitely an entertaining book and I highly recommend it.

 

A Connecticut Fashionista in King Arthur’s Court by Marianne Mancusi 06/30/08

I was a sucker for a King Arthur story when I was a young teen.  I’ve read more versions of it that you can imagine.  In this one, Kat is transported back to Camelot.  It takes her awhile to find out it wasn’t an accident – the Lady of the Lake and Merlin thought that Kat could prevent Lancelot and Guenevere from falling in love, thus being the downfall of Camelot.

 

It was a fun story, an easy read and entertaining.  Even though you more or less know what’s going to happen – at least if you’re read ANY King Arthur stories – it was still a compelling story.  The ending was an unexpected twist, so don’t read ahead!

 

The odd thing is, I found myself wishing I could go back to Camelot –era to meet the Lady of the Lake.  I think I could share her mission of trying to stop the Christians from taking over – and destroying – most of the world. 

The Good Thief by Hannah Tinti 06/29/08

I got an advanced reading copy of this book from Bookbrowse.com.

This story had such promise. From the back cover: “Bejamin Nab appears one day at the orphanage where Ren has spent the 11 years of his young life.  Convincing the monks he is Ren’s long-lost brother, Benjamin sweeps the boy away into a vibrant world of adventures, filled with outrageous scam artists, grave robbers, and petty thieves.  But is Benjamin Nab really who he claims to be?  As Ren begins to find clues to his hidden parentage, he comes to suspect that Benjamin holds the key not only to his future but to his past as well.”

 Sounds like a great story right?  Except it isn’t.  It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t as good as the promise from that paragraph..  The world isn’t vibrant, it’s dark and scary. The scam artists aren’t all that outrageous, just scam artists and not terribly clever ones at that.  That people were fooled by them is clearly the work of a writer.  There are characters who seem to have no real value to the story other than to add “color” but it doesn’t come off well.

 

The characters were not well-developed and most were “one note.”  You could tell what Benjamin was going to do because the characters would tell you “Well, that’s how Benjamin is.”  I wouldn’t go so far as to say the story was predictable, other than in its final outcome.  Every child loves an Orphan Who Conquers All.  This is a grown up version of that.